Nothing is what it seems like
by bjc768106
Summary: Takes place 2014, 2012 Elena left Stefan to have a normal life, but it is twisted, more than both can see, 2010 they killed Klaus after episode 2.14 with help from Elijah. STELENA, but the beginning is rocky.
1. Life without you

**Nothing is what it seems like**

Chapter 1 Life without you

Takes place after 2.14. Elena and Stefan are separated about 2 years ago. Klaus and Matt are both dead. Elijah had kept his promise and Bonnie had been able to kill Klaus with help from Lucy and her family. They had been able to channel enough power, so none of them had to die. Elena lives in Chicago, working as journalist and writing novels. She had decided to leave him to have a normal live, but this is just the surface. It is twisted - always.

/

2014 April 5th

Caroline's birthday party in Atlanta, the next morning.

"Oh, yes, oh my god, Stefan, …. " Caroline moaned " don't stop. " Then Caroline lowered her voice " Oh Elena, god you're so delicious, oh, hmmmm, " now Caroline began to growl.

In front of her was sitting a blushed, but grinning Elena, both sitting at Caroline's kitchen table, drinking coffee. They were alone the others had already left including Stefan. Caroline watched Elena a moment before she continued.

"You're not allowed to blush about this. What you both said was much worse than that and I was the one who had to listen to this the whole night. You told me that you wouldn't come and sleep over. Otherwise I wouldn't have invited Stefan to my b-day. " Caroline explained, slightly annoyed.

"I'm sorry Caroline. I didn't know that I would be finished with work that early, so I took the plane." Elena remarked, looking down while playing with her coffee mug like she was a little ashamed.

"Don't lie to me. You are not sorry for this. Did you take the plane because you knew that Stefan would be here?" Caroline asked suspiciously.

"No, but yes I wanted to see him. I didn't know that this would happen again and that you would be bothered that much. You never told me. " Elena said sincerely looking at Caroline.

"Because I decided just to invite one of you each year alternately after my last b-day where I had to listen to you two as well. Stefan sounds like a wildcat. I can never ever go with him in a zoo near any lions or tigers."

"Actually, I like his growling. It is so animalistic." Elena admitted, slightly blushing again.

"Elena, you should not sleep with your ex on my b-day. You broke up with him because you wanted to have a family." Caroline reminded her.

" Yes and no, just the kids were missing. " Elena corrected Caroline.

"He is not aging. How should he have been a father?" At this Elena became defensive.

"I know, but anyway when I get children they will have to face my destiny as well. There could always be a danger for them. Their lives will not be completely normal. And Caroline you don't need to watch so concerned. It was just this night and yes I miss him, but he was the one who broke up the contact."

Later in the bathroom Elena opened the shower and turned on the faucets. Then she sat down on the ground, watching how the water was cascading down, just remembering their last night together. No, she wouldn't wash away his sent, not today, maybe tomorrow.

/

6 month later – November 2014

Elena was breathing deeply, feeling his weight upon her body, the sweat their bodies were producing right now and his thrusts. She felt a bit dizzy, drunken from all the wine, but not to drunk not to enjoy it. She pulled him closer and mumbled

" Oh, Stefan. I need this so much."

Suddenly the thrust became more forceful and moments later she heard a loud moan escaping his mouth, followed from stillness. Then he collapsed right beside her, panting for air and grabbing the water bottle from her nightstand. Elena was just lying there, still waiting, but nothing happened. He began edgily to drink and offered her as well. She took a sip and watched him; the reality was coming back, infiltrating her mind. This guy had not been the best lover this was sure. He had no idea how to pleasure her as well. She was unsatisfied but didn't care at the moment. It wouldn't be worth it explaining to him what he had to do. She didn't want to play guinea pig for a one night stand. All she wanted was this guy to leave as soon as possible.

"Can I have more water?" He snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, of course. I get some for you."

"My name is Steven by the way and not Stefan." He explained to her.

"Oh, my mistake, sorry." Elena left. She had not really paid attention to his words at the party, too drunk, too absorbed in her own thoughts. Today it was okay to do that she told her, but she needed to stop it, sleeping with a guy and imagining it to be Stefan. It was not healthy and the guys were not as good as he was. She had learned that lesson over the years and unfortunately this made it more difficult to picture him. This was something she needed sometimes, the only thing she allowed herself from time to time. When she brought Steven the water, Elena began to explain that her brother would come tomorrow morning and she had to get up early, so she asked him to leave.

"You can say that you don't want me to stay here tonight. Don't worry."

Elena nodded while he got dressed. At her door he turned around and faced her again.

"Maybe, we could repeat that one day. You are really beautiful." He smiled seductively at her.

Elena's view must have said everything, because Steven's facial expression changed. Now he looked surprised and shocked.

"Was it so bad?"

"Um, let's just say you ended up satisfied me not."

/

After changing the sheets and consuming half of the ice cream. Elena poured herself more wine and decided it was time to take a shower. She wanted to wash his sent and her memories away. On her way she took a picture of Stefan and went to the bathroom. There she placed it on the mirror, so she could see it from the shower and lit a candle.

"Happy birthday Stefan. I hope you have a great day with Caroline." She whispered and drank more wine, placing the glass next to the shower.

The water helped her to relax, watching his picture, imaging what he was doing now and thinking about the last time she saw him. Elena sank down while the water was still cascading down her body. She let her hand tracing lower and lower over her belly to her center. Now she could remember him, picture him and not worry about her words. Tonight it was about Stefan. When she would wake up tomorrow and go outside, see the world and the couples with babies she would know that she had made the right decision back then.

/

2 month later - 2015 January

Stefan knocked at her door and moments later she was standing right in front of him with a surprised face, unable to say a word.

"Hi, I … I just had the feeling that I wanted to see you, just knowing you are okay and happy with your life… um… as a friend. …. I'm not here to try anything, just drink a coffee and leave later if you're okay with it." He was nervous clenching his hands and looking unsure into her eyes.

She saw how he swallowed and opened the door further, inviting him in with a friendly smile on her face. Elena showed him her apartment and he liked it, it was so feminine and covered with pictures from her family and friends. An hour later they were sitting on her couch, drinking coffee and eating cake.

She ignored several calls and texted something instead. She saw his questing look and explained.

" Just a friend. Some of my friends wanted to go and watch a movie, but I said I couldn't."

" You don't need to cover it, if you have a boyfriend, but I appreciate that you just text him when I'm here. " Stefan remarked friendly.

"I don't have a boyfriend. I did, but it didn't work out so well. We broke up and this was really just a good friend. " Elena explained, facing him and noticing his relive.

They talked a while and Elena began to feel the closeness of them. He understood her, so she finally explained how she felt.

"After everything which happened back then I have sometimes problems with people. I feel so old, so much more experienced than the others. After my parents died and all the problems came up, I grew up faster I guess. The past is still hunting me, it's a process. I'm working on it, so it is not so easy to have a relationship or friendship. I try and it works mostly, but there are these moments where I can't tell the truth. They are much more easygoing than I have become. " She left out the part that she couldn't talk about him, about why she left him with her new friends. She had tried that once with a girl from her new sport club. One day the two girls had been talking about boys and Elena had explained that she had left her boyfriend because he couldn't procreate and she wanted to have babies. The girl had looked at Elena shaking her head and Elena had felt like the worst, cruelest person one this planet at that moment – it sounded so heartless. She couldn't explain the truth, so she had to keep it to herself.

"So you are making a therapy?" Elena snapped out of her thoughts and confirmed.

"Yes, I did it, but I didn't want people to know. Caroline compelled the therapist, so I could explain everything and she didn't think I was crazy or made any notes. It helped, but she said I will need time, much time and she have never had somebody with such a life story."

He nodded, of course he understood her.

"So I explained all about my drama and now I want to know about yours."

This reminded him of the conversation they had a long time ago at the founder's ball. He chuckled when he thought about that night. He had to tell her something, but it was not easy. Elena nipped at her coffee, watching how Stefan casual behavior slowly changed.

"Well, it was not easy after you broke up with me, but I enjoyed spending time with my friends. I needed my time and I missed good old Europe, so I decided to work in France, at the coast. I work there in a little restaurant and the owner is great guy, Émil. Now he is really friend. At first I was just working behind the bar, but now I'm cooking as well. I was just cutting the vegetables, but then he realized that I can cook and he showed me a lot. I like it there. The restaurant is called Tintin. "

" What is with your personal life?" She was playing with the coffee mug , not able to look in his face." if you want to tell me." She added carefully. The story about him and France she had already known from Caroline.

"Caroline didn't tell you?" He saw the change of surprise and confusion in her face.

"Oh, no, no….not Caroline. Um,… my life with girls started one day, one night when I was drunk.. , nothing serious and not really much, almost nothing. Then I moved to France and it was the same for a while."

Stefan noticed how Elena hung on his lips.

"Uhm,… then one day … Katherine showed up and started to work in the same village in a bar."

Stefan watched how Elena's jaw dropped, but she didn't say a word, so Stefan went on.

" Well, one night she begged me to let her invite her into the house where I live with a guy from the work, Ramon. She was truly terrified, because 3 hunters from the past had found her, but she had been able to escape. They didn't believe her that Klaus was dead. I let Ramon invited her in. Bonnie and Caroline came one day later and together we killed the three of them."

"Caroline and Bonnie never told me that." Elena was upset, but he calmed her down.

"They wanted you to live your life and the threat was gone, but now Katherine was coming and going whenever she wanted to. Ramon and Émil had a lot of fun watching us fighting. Katherine loved to tell them stories about me, my father, Damon whatever…. . I wanted to leave, but she said she would follow me, so I stayed and we finally made truce."

"Oh, that is good to hear. I was always worried if someone would meet her again and what she would do." Elena began to relax.

" I wasn't finished. … One night when Katherine, I and some guys from the bar played cards and drank a lot I … I was … her seduction was finally working on me, my body was telling me that and I decided to give in. She didn't believe me at first. I told her it would be no love for me and she was okay with it. " Stefan concluded and watched Elena who went paler, squeezing her mug.

She needed a moment to bit the bullet. "How romantic. " Was all she could get out at first. Then she added " Oh Stefan she is working on it to get your love and you know it. " Finally she hissed " Where there no other girls. You are really obsessed with this look."

He shrugged " Maybe, but I don't see me falling in love anytime soon. Katherine knows it. She is a vampire. This makes things a lot easier. I don't have to pretend or lie and I will always have the human-vampire problem as you know, so… why not."

" But she abused you and wanted to kill you!" Elena shot back.

"But she also protected me because she didn't come back. I know that she is looking at first at herself, but at least she didn't brought me in danger after faking her death and I don't want to marry her . It is just sex and a little comfort." Elena couldn't believe that Stefan was defending Katherine. This was too surreal for her, so she went on

" She is an egocentric and egoistic bitch. She comes at first … always." Stefan reaction was just a chuckle, with a little shake of his head.

"A lot of people do that. You decided to leave me because you wanted to have normal life with children and grow old. What you wanted to have was more important for you. This is no accusation, but you never wanted to talk with me about the possibility of being with me or give us a chance how it could work."

This was a shot directly in her heart. She began to shake her head vehemently and huffed with tears of anger welling in her eyes." This is not fair Stefan."

" I didn't want to compare it, I'm just saying that you both preferred your own wish." Elena gulped. What should she say? He was right about it and she hated hearing it. She had never tried to talk to him about a future with him or giving him a chance, so she finally asked.

"Did Bonnie and Caroline know this?" Stefan nodded while Elena let out a groan of annoyance.

"What did you expected? That we would end up between the sheets every time we meet?"

" No, soon I will be too old, no contrary to Katherine? " she spit out."Did you come to tell me that there won't be more nights because of her?" She needed to know this.

"No, I told you why I came and the second reason was Katherine. I wanted to tell you that on my own."

"So it seems like you accomplished you mission." It was all she could say while Stefan watched her. After a few moments he offered.

"Do you want me to leave? I would prefer to go with a better feeling, but it is your decision."

/

Forgive me my grammar I'm not a native speaker.

Next chapter we will learn more about Stefan and Katherine and Stefan and Elena. The next chapter will be the most difficult and sad, but it is part of the journey. Please let me know what you think

Unfortunatly all my tires to separate the scenes are not working ?


	2. Playing with fears

**Chapter 2 Playing with fears**

Warning: This chapter is going to be harsh at some point. I'm aware of the fact that Stefan may seem OOC, but it is part of the journey.

Thx **Thot84**I changed the begin slightly.

/

3 month later - 2015 April Chicago

Sarah a friend of Elena's from Chicago had come over to Elena's apartment; both girls were eating pizza and drinking wine. The whole time Sarah had been in an odd mood. Elena was telling Sarah about her holidays in Italy, when Sarah interrupted her, locking her eyes with Elena's.

" Stop lying to me Elena. I thought you were my friend. Why didn't you tell me?"

Now Elena was confused. " About what?"

Sarah was shaking her head while she gave Elena some pictures. Sarah explained that her cousin had taken them during her holidays in Europe. At first Elena couldn't find a reason for Sarah's reaction. She saw Sarah's cousin sitting in a restaurant, dinning with her family, but then she gasped. It hurt her to see that. In the background she saw a smiling Katherine and an arm wrapped around her shoulders with a big blue ring on the third finger. There were more pictures and she realized that Katherine and Stefan were sitting with some guys together dinning as well. On the last picture Katherine had put a hand under Stefan's shirt and was about to kiss him. Sarah had watched Elena getting paler and paler. Elena looked hurt and wasn't saying a word; tears were glistering in her eyes.

" Elena, I'm sorry. Are you okay?" Now she felt bad for accusing her so harsh.

Elena collected herself, so now they were together. 3 month, it just had taken 3 month, probably less for Katherine to get Stefan back. When she looked back at Sarah, Elena realized she needed to give her a reply.

"Um, this is my ex. " was all she could get out.

"Oh my gosh. Is this the reason why your never told me that you have a twin sister?" Sarah asked her surprised.

"You know this isn't me on the picture?" Elena was confused.

"The picture was taken when Bonnie was here and we spent the weekend together." Sarah pointed out.

Elena needed a moment. She made a plan.

"Okay, I need more wine drink. Let us drink first, and then I tell you everything. "

Elena walked away and on the way she decided to call Damon. Damon was in New York, not far away in 4 hours he could be here contrary to Caroline who was in Atlanta. Of course, Damon promised her to come immediately and make Sarah forget. On the one hand Elena was relieved that this issue would be solved soon, on the other hand it disturbed her that Damon was not the slightest irritated or shocked to hear about Stefan and Katherine. He knew about them.

/

13 month later - 2016 May - New York

Damon was sitting in his new loft in New York. He took a sip from his bourbon, standing next to the enormous window which gave a perfect view over Manhattan. It was about 4 pm which meant in France where Stefan lived it was about 10 am. Damon gulped down the rest of his bourbon before he dialed Stefan's number and waited. Shortly before Damon had given up hope that Stefan would answer his call, he heard Stefan's sleepy voice.

"What?"

"Hello baby bro. Just hear to inform you that Elena gave yesterday birth to a baby girl named Emilia Miranda Gilbert. "

"You know that I know that don't you? Caroline called me. What do you really want?"

" Do you know who is the father? Does anybody know? Maybe Caroline now ?" He hoped that Stefan knew more.

"Does it matter?"

"No, and that is the problem. Ric said that John and Jenna are really upset that Elena is not telling them. They had hoped after giving birth Elena would admit his name." Damon remarked.

"What's the point Damon?" Stefan asked, now awoken and clearly suspicious.

" You know what she did after seeing the pictures from you with Katherine."

"She had sex and got pregnant." Stefan retorted.

"Funny Stef. According to her friend Sarah she just had sex with no-name guys."

"You think she doesn't know who the father is?"

"It is possible. Btw I was one of her lovers. She was gooooood." Damon waited, but there was no reaction on the other side, none that he could hear, but he was sure there would be one soon enough, so he concluded.

" Have a nice day brother." and hung up.

/

2 month later - June 2017 Chicago - Emilia is 2 month old.

Elena was sitting next to Emilia's baby cradle, watching her little daughter peacefully sleeping and stroking over her beautiful face. Elena was sure Emilia had the most beautiful smile and lips in the world. She knew she should be happy and a part of her was truly happy being mother, but she missed him. Sometimes she hated how much she missed him, but she did. Emilia took so much of her time, more than she had ever believed. It was a wonder how other parents were able to manage it. Of course most of them were not alone. Maybe she should get back to Mystic Falls. Jenna was pregnant from Ric. If she would go back, they could raise their children together. She tried to imagine a life in Mystic Falls with Jenna and Ric and their kids. Ric would be a father figure for her daughter which was the best option she had and Jeremy was there as well.

But her thoughts traveled back to Stefan. She knew that she had been the one who left him and he had Katherine, but was he happy with her? She didn't believe it; maybe she didn't want to believe it. He would have been a great daddy and deep down she wished him to be the daddy for Emilia.

/

2 month later – 2016

Elena clenched her hands nervously together, praying for hope, before she pulled the 4 month old Emilia out of her car seat. She took the baby in her arms, gently rocking her and walked toward the Salvatore Boarding house, hoping Stefan would be at home, he had to. He spent always the September in Mystic Falls visiting old friends. She had been thinking to come here and talk with him since Emilia was born, but the first weeks Emilia had occupied her whole time and Stefan had still been in France.

Elena's heart was pounding like mad when she knocked at the door and Mr. Miller the new janitor opened. She asked if Stefan was there who immediately showed up, puzzled form her sudden arrival.

" Hey." Was all she brought out.

"Hey." He was still puzzled, but he seemed to be happy to see her, because he was smiling at her.

Stefan opened the door wider, let her in and they went to his room. She took a moment, looking around and to the bed. Elena felt the distance between them, this invisible barrier the time, the 17 month they hadn't seen each other had produced. Stefan was still too marveled or shocked or both to offer her a drink. She served herself some water to calm down. She wanted to say something, anything.

" You look good. How are you?"

"Um, great, I … I didn't know you were here in Mystic Falls." He was still irritated from her sudden arrival.

"I'm here because I wanted to talk with you."

Stefan nodded, but Elena was not able to continue. Her whole body was tensed, she was biting her upper lip and she was sweating. She knew that Stefan was noticing these signals because he looked concerned now.

" Hey, take your time. You know you can come with anything to me."

He seemed to expect some bad news, which was not the case. But his words caused her to relax. Elena felt how the invisible wall between them began to crumble. She tried to smile at him.

"I wanted to see you. Actually I wanted to see you for a while. I came for you. "

Her heart was in her mouth when she said it and saw how his jaw dropped. He looked startled, but she went on.

" I have thought a lot about me and … about you in the last few month. " Elena sighed.

"I …. I think I made a fault all those years ago. I was egoistic. I wanted to be a mother and this wish had somehow taken over me. I haven't seen anything beyond that." She admitted to him.

Stefan was leaned against his desk with an indifferent expression on his face. He was waiting for her to continue.

" I have not realized what I gave up back then and all the times I saw you meant so much to me. I think we belong together and I'm here because I wanted to plead you to give us another chance. …. I know I have Emilia now and this was nothing we have ever talked about, but I would risk it. I love you Stefan."

Stefan was pale when she observed him and was not saying anything, just starring at her. Moments later he turned away, went to the balcony doors and looked out. It was impossible for Elena to say what he was thinking or feeling. After what seemed like hours he turned around.

" I ….. I think I need some time to process and think for myself, if this would be okay. Can I call you tomorrow?"

Elena agreed and left a flabbergasted Stefan back.

/

The next day he asked her if she wanted to go with him and her daughter to the lake house. She was happy that he hadn't said no or mentioned Katherine until now. Stefan had to do some bank stuff, so they would take off tomorrow.

It was a sunny morning when Elena arrived at the Salvatore boarding house. They had breakfast together. Stefan had made pancakes for Elena, but he was just drinking blood and coffee himself which surprised her and his face was vacant when he was speaking to her.

"Elena, I'm not here for the reason you hope. I have thought about it and I don't want it."

She gulped." But … but why did you ask me to go with you for the weekend at the lake house?"

"Because I want it to end. I can't be a father. You should really search somebody else and I have feelings for Katherine. I mean it is kind of crazy. She is not faithful, honest or loyal, but I feel for her and I can be forever with her and yes you mean something to me, but no more the way it was. I have changed Elena. I want you to move on as well. I'm sorry for what I will do now. I know that you are on vervain, so you will stay here with me and the child and in 3 days you will forget me forever. You can do what you want here, but the nights you will stay in the dungeon with the baby. I arranged everything. It's now more like a cozy little baby room filled with everything you could need for her. Please give me your car keys and your phone."

Elena had stopped eating; she was too flabbergasted from his words. They sounded surreal in her ears and she didn't believe him. After a few moments had past, he reached out to grab her bag, took the keys and her phone with no hesitation and left her alone.

In the evening he forced her into the dungeon. It was kind of ridiculous the dungeon had now rose walls, a baby cradle, a bed, a flower carpet and baby stuff was lying around.

The following 3 days Stefan was friendly, but distant and sometimes cold as ice. He avoided her mostly and she spent most the hours in the garden with Emilia. It was the first time Emilia was able to grab something one her own, but Stefan was not interested. He turned his back at her. He hadn't even asked her the name.

The third night when she had brought her child to bed, he demanded her to come to his room. Half an hour later she followed his demand, placing the baby phone on the table, waiting with arms crossed over her chest and a tensed expression on her face. He offered her a glass of wine and drank bourbon and blood himself. Stefan let her chose if she wanted to cut her hand to taste her blood herself otherwise he would do it. Elena took the knife and cut her hand, offering him her blood. He grabbed her bleeding hand and tasted the blood. Stefan was content and really drunk. The bottle was half empty. She realized that he had opened it when she went down with the baby. Elena was still certain he couldn't do it and he was taking his time with her. Slowly he was drinking more and more, focusing her without talking. She observed the empty blood bags on the floor and the mess of his room. Suddenly like he had a change of mood, he approached her.

"Kiss me."

It came out of the nowhere for her, but she did what he had demanded with no passion or fire which released him unsatisfied. She had a bitter smile on her face when he watched her, shaking his head. Then he cupped her face with his hand, starring into her eyes and compelling her to want to kiss him with lust. Eagerly he began to kiss her and now he was pleased. He was losing himself in the kiss. His lust was overwhelming him for a moment, but then he broke away and began to pace the room.

"Damn it. "

"Why are you saying this, Stefan? I wanted this." Stefan was shaking his head, starring at the ground, starring at her before he spoke again.

"This is not right. This is not right."

"Why are you so upset?"

"Um, … I shouldn't have done it."

"But I wanted it, too " Stefan let out a humorless laugh. Then he approached her, he was about to say something when she brushed her hair back and his attention found her neck. Immediately Stefan focused on her carotid artery, stroking her hair further back and gliding a finger over it. Then he felt her lips on his cheek approaching his mouth. He kissed her back, inhaling her sent. His tongue played with hers and he was completely lustful. She could feel it. Moments later he began to take off her cardigan. Immediately Elena pulled back.

"No, Stefan. I don't want this."

But again he compelled her; he watched her body lustfully for several minutes. Then he found her eyes again with a sensual view on his face he compelled her to enjoy sharing blood with him.

/

The next morning Elena was awoken from a cry. It was Emilia and she found herself in the dungeon. While she fed Emilia, the memories from last night came back.

Half an hour later Stefan was standing in the dungeon door with breakfast. She saw the brokenness, his hesitation and his guilt.

"Why am I still here after last night, Stefan? You feel something for me, don't you?"

"I… I am sorry for what I have done. I had drunken too much. " he was standing as far as possible away from her. Starring at the ground, avoiding her eyes, when he began to speak.

" I feel passion for you … and for her, this face, this body, the taste. I can't say no, to none of you. I … I love your blood and her dirty vampire sex, her seduction. I love ripping under her skin, licking blood from her body, playing dirty bloody games with her. I tried to hide this side, but it is there, it is me and I love to live it with her. I can be myself with her, live the dark side."

Elena couldn't believe what he was telling her, shaking her head in confusion. " But, but … last night we made love." Stefan shook his head and explained sternly.

"Elena, I compelled you to sleep with me, to feel lust because I didn't accept your no. I compelled you to enjoy sharing blood with me. Think logically, would you really have slept with me willingly after all the days in the dungeon? I forced you and you know how this is called when somebody forces another to have sex. " He came closer and cupped Elena's face with his hands.

"And now, I'm going to compel you to forget the last three days and me forever" and with no hesitation he did what he just had said.

/

1h later

Jenna opened the door and let an exhausted Elena in.

"Hi, where is Stefan? Are you okay?"

"He didn't want me back." Jenna was confused.

"I'm sorry, but why did you stay for so long."

"He wanted to make it pretty clear."

/

8 h later

Caroline had come from Atlanta to comfort her, sitting across from Elena, both drinking coffee.

" What happened?" Caroline finally asked because Elena was not starting to talk at all.

" I wanted to talk to him, have him back. I wanted him to be the father, but he didn't."Elena huffed.

"And what did the two of you the rest of the four days?" Caroline was clearly as confused as Jenna had been. Elena let out a bitter laugh.

" He wanted the vervain to leave my system and after the third day he tasted my blood and believed it was gone. He didn't know about the little vervain chip in my body."

" He compelled you?" Caroline was shaking her head, pouring herself some blood. Elena explained her best friend what Stefan had done with her. How he had forced her to kiss and sleep with him, what he said about Katherine and his obsessions with both of them. How she played compelled and hoped he wouldn't bite her, but he did and compelled her to enjoy it, how he had compelled her to bite him, how he had forced her to drink his blood and enjoy it. Caroline had tears in her eyes when Elena finished her story. " Caroline was speechless for a moment, then she said sternly

"This is going to have consequences for him. God, Katherine was never good for him. "

"No, no, I don't want to see him ever again, Caroline. He has this unhealthy obsessed and sociopathic side, but he has also saved my life risking his own. I know what he did when he was first turned and this is a part of him which he can live with Katherine. He had hidden this side of himself because he had no balance in himself. Now I understand why Katherine wanted him back. They fit perfectly together. He decided that I should forget him forever and he got his wish, not for the compulsion, but for everything he has done that night. "

Caroline nodded reluctantly. "My friendship with him is over. I don't want to see him neither. Not after what he had done to you."

"I think he needs to learn how to control himself. There were so many blood bags on the floor. He wasn't himself. "

"Don't tell me you are defending the guy who just raped sex with you." Caroline was angry and bewildered from Elena's words. Elena looked down, avoiding Caroline's eyes. She hadn't processed what he had done and how. She would need time, but she didn't want to punish him.

/

Next chapter we will learn more about the night they spent together. Don't be mad.


	3. The first Hint

**The first hint**

**/**

I wanted to update soon because the last chapter was so harsh….. I'm just writing from Elena's POV at the moment.

/

Half a year later – 2017 Chicago

"Hey, Caroline I'm at the airport with Emilia. Can I take the fly to Mystic Falls or not?"

"Hey, sorry that it took so long. My spies informed me that Damon is in Hawaii and Stefan is in France still in the restaurant with Katherine. So you won't meet any of them when you are there. If anything changes I will inform you."

"Oh, good. I really want to enjoy the time at home. Thanks Caroline."

/

The same day Mystic Falls

5 hours later Elena was standing with Ric in the garden, watching how Emilia discovered the garden with Jenna.

"It is incredible Emilia really loves you two. It gives me the first time to relax. I'm so exhausted after all those month." Elena conceded.

"No, problem Elena, we are just preparing ourselves. In three month it will help us." Jenna smiled stroking over her already thick pregnant belly.

" I would love to go to sleep early today. Would you mind to take Emilia in your bedroom tonight?"

Elena tried to keep a straight face while saying that.

/

Around midnight Elena decided it was time to go. She dressed herself in the dark room, took the bag she had prepared and climbed out of the window. Elena went through the several gardens until she reached the woods, avoiding the streets and the people who might know her. When she reached the Salvatore boarding house her heart was pounding heavily and she paused a moment, looking for any signs of residents in the house, but there were none. It took her half an hour before she was able to continue.

She went to the back of the house and took the old wooden ladder from the shed. Then Elena placed it under Stefan's bacon. It had been easier than she had thought. She climbed up until the balcony doors and took the knife of her bag. Back then the doors had been a little bit broken and Stefan had used sometimes a knife to open it. She had teased him about it, but now she hoped that his method would work from her position outside as well and she was right. The third try opened the door with a soft squeak. Elena didn't move, still afraid that Damon or Stefan would appear in a moment, but she was standing there all alone.

She started to relax, climbed inside and approached Stefan's diary armoire. With a flashlight she studied the more modern once. In the last corner she found 2012, 2013 and 2014, but not the rest. Elena put them in her bag and went back to the window. But then she turned back and let the lamp shine through his room. Tears welled in her eyes. This room was holding so many memories; it was so peacefully calm right now. When the flash lighted his bed, Elena couldn't stop the tears anymore. She sank down starring at his bed, remembering their last night together and their first one. Her body was shaking; it was difficult for her to calm down. Her mouth felt dry and she decided to drink something, but there was no water, of course not. Elena didn't dare to go to his bathroom because of Mr. Miller the janitor who was living here, but Stefan's alcohol was still standing on the little antique table. She poured herself a glass of scotch and gulped it down. It burned in her throat, but now she was calmer.

Elena realized that she hadn't searched between the books on the floor and the rest of the room, so she began to inspect all of it and found the rest of his journals in his nightstand. The latest entry was from January 2017. Of course the diary armoire had been full, how stupid of her. Hastily, Elena left with all the diaries she had wanted.

Back at home, she relaxed, now no Damon or Stefan could harm her, the magical barrier which Bonnie had made after her days with Stefan, just gave access to Caroline. For the first time in hours she felt save and a little proud. When she opened 2016 and approached September, she saw her name and her fingers began to tremble, her heart was pounding like hell and she let the book sink down. Unable to read, she decided that alcohol would help, so she took a bottle of wine from Jenna and a glass. After the second glass, she began to read, still nervous with sweat palms.

/

17 September 2016

_I was waiting for her, preparing the room, making it looking like a mess and scattering empty blood bags over the floor. I gulped the bourbon down before I forced her to kiss me and she did. It was horrible. It was much more difficult to do then I had thought. The second compelled kiss was better. I was able to focus on the lust, the memories of the past were rushing through my mind. It was surreal that I was able to feel lust for a little moment, but her fear and sadness I had seen moments ago were sinking deeper, creeping inside my mind. I broke away, fighting with me to continue, to go on and to accomplish my mission._

_It was so gross doing that to her. She wasn't bad playing "compelled". I guess she did the same what I did, pushing the cruel reality away and focusing on the past, our past. I was so afraid that she could see right through me, but then I realized she was thinking I was fighting with me not to do it. What an irony, but it helped to let her think that I'm really such a split personality._

Tears were streaming down Elena's cheeks. She couldn't believe what he had written. Now she began to understand why she never really felt abused. The blood sharing had been awful, but then there had been this moment when it had felt like them, lovemaking. It had been them, her and Stefan. She had red so much about victims who protect their perpetrator. She gulped the third glass of wine down and took the book again.

_Then I went to the blood sharing part. She pretended to enjoy it, but she didn't. I played completely lost in the blood sensation and she believed me. She was so scared and I wasn't sure how long she would be able to "play" compelled, so I started to drink blood from a glass and Elena seemed thankful that the blood raping had stopped. I had the feeling she wanted to distract me from the blood and began to kiss me again. I let it happen and went further, compelled her to sleep with me._

_It was so strange, but her want, her lust felt real. Unbelievable for me, but I was aroused as well. I wanted to stop it, I didn't want to rape sex from her, but I didn't. Somehow she was on top of me and I know I compelled her to sleep with me, but I never expected her to guide me inside her. This had never been a part of my plan, but when she sank down on me, enclosing me, I enjoyed it so much. She started to move and it was so surreal and wrong, but I didn't stop her. I let it happen, I anticipated, I went all the way like this would be just us. I'm ashamed to write it, but it was good. I knew this would be our last time together was this the reason why I didn't stop? She came. How was she able to let herself go? _

_Later she was lying in my arms like old times. When she was asleep I watched her, peacefully dreaming. I knew I would never see her like that again, be close like that. All felt so fucking normal and surreal at the same time. An hour later I carried her into the dungeon. Before I left I watched Emilia. She was so beautiful; she had Elena's dark brown hair and her tiny fingers. I would have loved to see her eyes, see if she had hers, but probably she had still the blue baby eyes. I have no idea when that changes into the right color. It took me one hour before I was able to leave. I watched them sleeping with so many feelings running through my mind. I knew this would be our last peaceful moments together. _

_The next day when I talked to her, my guilt was real and she was so good playing her role. I told her everything like I had prepared to say including the rape and let her go. After what I had done, it felt right to let her go. I hope one day she can move on from that, put that behind her._

_Caroline was really furious at me. She knew the plan, but when she heard I didn't stop before sleeping with her, she freaked out. I wasn't able to explain to her why I didn't stop before. I explained that the blood sharing had been part of my plan I didn't tell her, to make her reaction more real. _

/

Elena was confused, Caroline and probably Damon knew about this and went along. She was shocked when she was thinking about the phone call with Caroline. She had asked to find out if she would be alone in Mystic Falls. Had Caroline been honest with her or would Damon and Stefan arrive soon? Caroline didn't know about her plan to steal Stefan's journals, anybody knew about her plan. If Stefan would come and see the missing journals ….. she didn't want to think about the consequences. Caroline could come in. She needed to hurry. The only thing which was clear was that Stefan had wanted to push her away, but why he had chosen such a cruel way and Caroline had known that. Caroline had claimed to end her friendship with Stefan, but did she end it? Her head was spinning and she saw it was about 5 am. She wanted to know the truth, but she wouldn't find it now. Now she needed to sleep.

/

I needed Elena to steal his journals, so Stefan had to do something OOC, otherwise she wouldn't have done it, because she knows him ;). I Next chapter Elena will read more…


	4. Biting

**Biting**

Thx for the review. It helps me going. I changed chapter 2 a little bit. There is a scene where it is just Elena and her thoughts after giving birth and I changed the beginning from the Stefan Elena dialog when she explains to him that she wants him back. It was difficult for me, because I didn't want to give a hint about his feelings.

-/-

13 March 2017

8 am - Jenna knocked at Elena's bedroom door, nothing, after a few seconds had passed she opened the door and walked slowly in. There were no signs that she was waking up, so Jenna addressed Elena directly.

"Hey, Elena, wake up. It's late…." Elena turned around, dead tired and with swollen eyes "oh…. you look exhausted. Are you okay? "

Elena didn't know what to say at first, her face was lined with stress on her face from the last month and the last night. It wasn't the facial expression Jenna was used to see.

"It is okay, Jenna. I'm just tired…..I love my baby so much, but to do it all alone is not so easy. " Jenna nodded with understanding, but Elena could see the worry in Jenna's face.

" Just sleep it off. Emilia accepts us and we want to go with her in the garden, so you stay here and later we can spend some time together." Jenna assured her.

Elena was glad, she needed more sleep.

-/-

9 pm

Elena was sitting on her bed with Emilia, her tiny girl was sleeping peacefully next to her in a new pink sleepsuit. After a few moments of watching her daughter, Elena began to plan her next step, what should she read next. She had 9 journals for 5 years. Where should she start to read? After a while she made a list and decided to read chronologically the entries from

-The two times they had slept together on Caroline's birthday party.

-The day Stefan had told her about Katherine and the days before.

-Their break-up

-The Katherine pictures, but when they had been taken? They could have been taken month before Sarah has showed her.

-/-

-The two times they had slept together

Stefan had filled pages with every detail of their nights. It was like he had wanted to burn them in his mind forever. She felt breaking into his privacy, the memories and how he had written them down, how he experienced their sex was so intimate and so full of love and lust. While reading, she saw the images from them in her mind, beautiful memories, memories she hadn't allowed herself to think of for month. It felt like his words were caressing her, giving her what was missing.

She stopped reading this part; she didn't want to break his privacy, all she wanted were answers, so she went to the end of the description. Stefan had forgotten to put Caroline's replacement key in the flower pot in the garden, so he came back to do it. Inside he heard the conversation between her and Caroline. He had written every single word of it, behind Caroline's remark about Stefan's sex growls he had made a smiley, and added_. _

_April 6__th__ 2014_

_Need to go with Care in a zoo, circus or wildcat show in Vegas as soon as possible. _

_I hope they won't find out about my night with Elena. I hope they won't get mad at me. I know I shouldn't have done it, but Elena and the others agreed that we wouldn't tell anybody. Caroline was angry at me like last year, damn she can talk a lot. I'm just glad Damon doesn't know about it. He is not good in keeping secrets._

This made her suspicious. Who would get mad? One name was thrilling in her mind Katherine, but whatever it was, it must have happened before. Was Stefan really dating Katherine? She decided to read the entry about his visit when he told her about Katherine and the days before.

-/-

- The day Stefan told Elena about Katherine

January 20th 2015

Unfortunately his visit was just a short summery of what had happened and how difficult it had been to tell her that, so she began to look the days before and she found something, a name she hadn't expected, John's name.

4 January 2015

_Today John wanted to meet me. Odd. He came all the way to France from Atlanta just to talk to me, hmmm. Like I expected he wanted to talk with me about Elena. John explained that Elena was fine, but deep down it was difficult for her to move on. John saw an issue in the way she broke up with me. She didn't break up with me because of the person I am or because our relationship didn't work, it was to have a normal life with children. John said that she compared the guys with me and always found something she didn't like. He told me that it would be easier for her to move on if she could see more of my bad sides. _

_I almost killed a girl in front of her, can I ever get worse? I told him that the reason she broke up with me had been a real problem in our relationship. I could understand him, but I had the feeling he was holding something back. We spent more time and I offered him a lot of drinks. It worked; around midnight he finally admitted that Elena's behavior reminded him a bit of Katherine's. She had sex, but was not interested in anything beyond that. Hmmm? He didn't want to tell more and I didn't want to hear more. It hurts, imaging me that, but I do as well, rarely, just a little bit of closeness, not always being alone. John hoped that if she would have a more negative view of me, she would move on, so I agreed to help him, but I'm not sure about this. John said I should tell her something about Katherine. He had already made a plan._

_Odd, odd feeling._

Stefan didn't seem to date Katherine was all Elena was thinking at first, she sighed relieved, but she had been blushed reading this entry, feeling embarrassed. In her mind she had this image of Stefan and her father talking about her sex life. Terrible, her cheeks were red and warm, she could feel it.

Elena went into the bathroom and let the cold water running down her face, enjoying the feeling the water produced on her skin. With a towel she dried her face and watched herself, she needed to be clear-headed she told herself, think logical.

Why was it so important that she was moving on? Something was seriously wrong. Why did they treat her like that? Whatever the reason was it must have happened before. It must have happed before Caroline's two birthday parties, so at least 4 years ago had something happened.

A yawn escaped her mouth and a look at her buzzer confirmed, it was 12 pm and she needed to sleep, more than the night before. Tomorrow she would find out what happened, she swore herself, before she joined Emilia in the bed.

-/-

the next day - 14 March 2017

Elena opened the garage door and saw Jenna's old Mini, now the van was old, about a decade she estimated. This car was like walking down memory lane; she remembered smirking what had happened in this car almost 6 years ago. Elena had been in the drive-in-cinema with Stefan, bad movie, but they found easily something else do, unfortunately in this Mini. The next day John had kind of forced Jenna, Jer and her to go to a restaurant with him. Jeremy and Elena were in the backseats when Jenna hopped into the car. She wanted to take off, but something had stopped her, she bent her head down and found Elena's silk tights twirled around the gas pedal. When she got up, she held them in her hand, realizing slowly what this meant. Elena could never forget Jenna's and John's disgusted faces, both aware that they were exactly sitting on the place where she and Stefan had done it just hours ago. A smile crossed Elena's face, damn she had been so embarrassed while Jer had been dying of laughter, but now she loved this memory, now it was again a good memory, a memory which let her smirk.

A cry from Emilia snapped Elena out of her thoughts, but she was still smiling when Jenna and Emilia arrived. Jenna eyed her and seemed to be glad that Elena was in a better condition, so she decided it was time, time to confront her about the baby father and his right to know that he was a father, but again Elena refused to talk about it. She turned around, playing being preoccupied with Emilia. Elena buckled the tiny girl into the car seat and made sure it was secure, taking her time with it. A low groan escaped Jenna's mouth before she began to speak.

" One day your daughter will ask you who is her father and what will you say? That you didn't put any effort at all? "

Elena glared at Jenna lips pressed together before she watched in the other direction again.

"Elena, I know this is not easy. I heard you crying during in first night. You need to work on it. Maybe a therapy would help you. "

Elena looked down "Maybe…" She was not ready to talk about it.

Jenna didn't say anything else.

-/-

Later Elena found the time to read further in Stefan's journals. She decided to read about their break-up 5 years ago.

June 2012

Elena had been on an educational journey with her writing class in Europe to see the places where so many important writers had lived. Stefan had visited Damon in Mystic Falls and Elena wanted to come there after her trip as well. There would be a big Jenna and Alaric party. Everything felt normal, but again she felt bad about breaking his privacy. The 5th night she found something.

-/-

13. June 2012

_Damn, I got bitten, fucking full moon, fucking werewolves. In the first wolf Damon and I pumped so many wolfs bane darts that he fall on the floor. Damon was about to rip his heart out, when the second one attack. I had no more darts left and he bit me in my arm while Damon shot him down. I tried to rip my arm off, but Damon was faster, cutting it off. I hope the infection has not reached my body. Later Elena called from her new hotel and I told her what had happened. She was upset and wanted immediately come back, but I assured her that I was fine. Even when I will get the infection, she would probably come too late. We had kept my arm and there we could see the infection was starting, even when the arm was dead. Luckily, my new arm and the rest of my body are not showing any signs of an infection._

_Damon is playing the hard one, hey bro everything is fine, but I don't believe him. He is constantly checking my body for any signs. Later he went outside, saying he needed to work on his car. When I went outside, I saw him in his car on the phone. I was sure he was calling anybody, trying to find help, if the worst would happen. I was right he had talked to Bonnie who was searching in the grimoire's and wanted to come as soon as possible._

Elena was sitting on her bed, stunned, her jaw had dropped. She had no memories about that, nothing, she had never heard about that. Stefan got bitten from a werewolf. She was processing this new information. In her world, she had come back earlier to Mystic Falls because of Alaric's and Jenna's engagement party. She was confused, tried to remember what had happened, but there was not much. She just knew that in Europe she had made the decision to leave Stefan and when she had arrived at the Salvatore boarding house, Stefan had been a bit cold and distant like he had known what would come. Of course he knew her, she had thought. He hadn't come to pick her up at the airport, Damon had come. But Stefan was alive, so they must have found something to heal him or he never got infected. But why was her memory erased? Stefan would have told her something like that. This made no sense at all. ___

_/_

_Will she learn the truth next chapter, hmmmm, maybe…_


	5. The Deal

_**The Deal **_

_**/**_

14 March 2017 the same night

Elena was still sitting on her bed, tired, a look at her buzzer confirmed it was midnight and her whole body was tensed, she was aware of that, her neck felt stiff and her back sore, but it didn't matter.

She placed the journal on the bed and lay down next to it, hoping this position would help her body to relax. She couldn't still believe that Stefan had been bitten from a werewolf 5 years ago, exactly when she broke up with him. There was more to find out this was sure. With a sigh Elena flipped to the next page and began to read.

/

_14 June 2013_

_11am_

_Fuck, I'm so old. I shouldn't be afraid of dying, but I'm. Elena is still in Rome, but will be here soon, hopefully and I have to tell her that I got infected if I will be still able. There are problems with the weather in Europe, so a lot of flights have been canceled, hers as well. Just in case I have written her, Damon and Caroline a letter. I don't want to behave like a monster and go all monkeys on them. Hope they kill me before. This is so surreal to write. _

_This morning I talked to her and assured her everything was fine. Elena had called me from the airport, waiting to get a new flight and she urged me to undress and inspect me in front of the mirror. I did and there was nothing at all. When we hang up, I went in the bathroom and showered, happy I would see her soon. I saw it, when I was styling my hair, this little red spot. It was so minuscule, looking like nothing, but I knew it._

_I told Damon who tried to be cool and assured me we would find a solution. Tyler, Caroline, Bonnie, Lucy and John were working on it. He hadn't reached Elijah, but he hoped he would call back. The others would arrive soon. He is really my big bro. _

_1pm_

_Tyler arrived 1 h ago. He had suggested giving me some of his blood. We tried, but unfortunately this had the opposite effect, the infection is increasing. Guess we were not the first vampires who tried that. Caroline and Bonnie will be here tonight. Elena finally got a flight to NY and will be here early tomorrow morning._

_ 11 pm_

_I feel weak, have stomachache and I'm dizzy from time to time. Bonnie called; she didn't find anything, nothing about werewolf bites in the grimoires. _

_To our surprise John showed up with Isobel this evening. Isobel claimed to know how to heal me, but she wanted a deal. They were worried that I would turn Elena which of course is an option. I tried to explain that I was …..Sh…..I would not force her…I wou …she knew the option so she would decide….o my god…I feel confused….sick… _

The script in his journal began to blur. Elena was sitting on her bed, shaking. A tear ran over her cheek, then a second one and finally she was sobbing bitterly and angrily. What a bitch. It had not been her decision to leave him, she was sure. She stroked over his journal and kissed it. For sure she was compelled; she didn't want to read more. This was enough for her for now, but Elena had this wish to feel close to Stefan, some comfort.

She wanted something from him, but all of his things she had given back or burned, just one thing remained. Quickly, she ran to her commode and fished out he old metallic box filled with memories of the past. There it was the necklace he had given to her to protect her from Damon. She remembered how he had felt a little bit strange to give her a present like that so soon. Elena took it and gave the necklace a kiss, of course she couldn't wear it here, so she decided to place it under her pillow and went to sleep.

/

7 October the next day

Elena was teaching Jenna how to hold a baby. It was funny. Jenna was so careful, helpless and sweet while she tried to feed Emilia. It was a nice afternoon. The heat was agreeable, and Elena enjoyed sitting outside the Grill. There was nothing obviously beautiful or pretty, but she loved it here. It felt like home as well.

Elena was about to finish her coffee when she saw the expression on Jenna's face had changed.

"Elena, I now you hate the theme and I can understand that you need time to deal with it and I won't push you anymore, but if you ever feel ready to talk about the baby father I'm here for you or if you need somebody to talk to him, I mean I would do that as well. " Jenna tried to lock her eyes with Elena's, but Elena looked down, starring in her almost empty coffee mug.

" I … don't know his name, Jenna."

/

In the evening like all the days before Elena went early to bed to read as much as possible.

_15 April 2012_

_That bitch didn't give us the time to say goodbye. The others didn't inform Elena about the deal. At least she agreed to spend one last weekend with me at the lake house. She will be here soon. Isobel was pissed about it. What is one weekend compared to what Elena and I had to give up? Elena is on vervain again, the other assured me that, Isobel can't compel her again. My body is still a bit weak, but I feel much better. The truth is that I haven't realized that it is over and the other truth is that I always knew that maybe she would leave me one day for this reason - to have a normal life and children._

_The healing was painful and I'm not sure if all of it was necessary, but it worked. They were about to drain all of the blood of my body when Elena arrived. She was shocked to see my body mummifying. I could see the disgust in their faces, but not in hers. The description from Katherine in the tomb had been right. My veins began to rub together like sandpaper and my heart tried to pump the remaining blood. It was excruciating. I felt like a guinea pig. Then they gave me 1 l blood from a vampire, 1 from an Original , 1 from a witch, 1 from a werewolf and 1 from Elena the doppelganger using John's ring to draw enough blood. They used the ingredients from the sacrifice. I have no idea when Elijah or Elena had shown up. I was slowly healing and they were all standing around my bed. Before it had felt like my deathbed, but then it was like my welcome-bed. _

_Elena snuggled next to me and the others left, giving us some privacy. I couldn't move. I needed all my strength to heal slowly. It was such a beautiful moment. She was stroking over my face until her stomach didn't stop growling and we both were laughing. I told her she should get something to eat. She did. I heard her downstairs preparing something, a cry and then nothing. I got up and fell almost immediately down calling Damon. I literally scrabbled into the kitchen, but it was too late, she was gone. Isobel had taken her. I didn't know which deal they finally made. Damon arrived 10 minutes later and told me about the deal._

_Elena had called Isobel from Europe before my infection started and Isobel had claimed that maybe her blood could heal me, so Elena had stopped drinking vervain. We couldn't find her and Damon was sure Isobel had already compelled her because Damon on the other hand was already planning to screw up the deal. He felt wronged because after making the deal, Elijah had called back and he knew the cure as well, but he was a man of honor and expected form us to keep the deal with Isobel and John. _

_John had wanted me to break up with Elena, Isobel had wanted to compel her and Damon had agreed it would be easier for her. Isobel had suggested to compel Elena to forget me, but the others had argued that this wouldn't be believable for Elena, so Caroline had come up with the idea to make her wish to have a family stronger than her wish to be with me. Did she leave me for the right reason?_

_Later Isobel called and told us it was done and Elena would wait at the airport in 2 hours. I was still weak, so Damon picked her up and brought her here where she broke up with me._

Elena was lying on her bed, unable to move. Her biological mother who had chosen to become a vampire, who had given her up, who had never tried to make contact with her, had the cheek to make decision for Elena's life. 5 years of her life had been passed. She felt so bad for Stefan. He hadn't made the deal, the others did, but he had survived. At last this.

She began to see Isobel's side as well and felt bad for her. All she had wanted was protect her from a choice she had made for herself, a choice Isobel must hate or….. maybe she was doing this for Katherine to punish Stefan. Elena was not sure. This was not important she decided. She wanted to understand what she had read before.

In her head was this giant puzzle she tried to solve. What had happened since they broke up? They had slept together, of course it was technically not included in the deal, but it was not something Stefan wanted the others to know about.

John had been worried that Elena wasn't moving on like it was supposed to be and in the end of the day she had tried to get Stefan back. Why had she tried to get him back when she was compelled to move on, find a husband and get a family? Elena had a queasy feeling thinking about this question, but there was just one conclusion. Something went wrong with the compulsion; somehow Isobel's compulsion must have been too weak because she hadn't moved on. Somehow Elena had the feeling she would find the rest as well, tomorrow she told herself before switching off the lights.

15 March - 8 am the next morning.

"Hey, Elena wake up Emilia wants her mommy. I brought you a coffee." With a smile Jenna placed the coffee on the nightstand. Elena smelled the taste which she loved so much and reached out to grab the mug. She thanked Jenna and started to drink, letting the hot coffee running down her throat. This was luxury and Jenna knew exactly how much Elena loved this kind of comfort. It was nothing she was used to anymore.

"Oh, my gosh, not again, no…" Elena turned to Jenna, irritated about her reaction. She followed her view and saw the vervain necklace from Stefan lying next to the pillow. Jenna looked so shocked that Elena didn't know what to say. Did Jenna know about the deal or not? Stefan had not mentioned her or Alaric. She hadn't read enough but she needed to calm her down.

"I know Stefan is not worth it. I left him and I don't want him back, but there were also good times and I love this necklace, this vintage style." Elena lied. Her words didn't affect the look on Jenna's face, a look filled with concern and unfortunately Jenna didn't seem to believe her one word.

"Why did you really put Stefan's necklace under your pillow, Elena?"

Obviously Elena couldn't give Jenna a satisfying answer and finally Jenna left.

/

Later

Elena changed Emilia when her phone began to vibrate again which she ignored again. It was Caroline, 4th missed call.

Probably Jenna had alarmed Caroline or even Stefan, but she hadn't finished reading and still didn't understand what went wrong with the compulsion.

Elena was alone and there was this idea in her head, the idea to leave, to have the time to read it all. Jenna needed to go to the doctor today and Elena used the time to pack up her stuff, just what she needed and the journals from 2015-2017. The rest of the journals she hid behind the mirror in her room. Alaric's car was here, parked in front of the house and his keys in the kitchen. Elena grinned walking to the car, putting Emilia in the seat and she took off. Maybe it was stupid and Jenna didn't say anything, but Elena didn't want to take any risks. She left a note for Jenna and Alaric.

/

I'm sorry. I took the car, I need to be alone. Please let me. I will be back in a few days.

Elena

/

So is Elena right to think the compulsion was too weak…hmmm ..this would be too easy or not?

I hope you have fun reading it. I had fun writing it and I hope it is not too complicated with all the jumps through the times.


	6. The Truth

Sorry for the delay:

Summery: Elena left Stefan 5 years ago. She got pregnant and has no a daughter named Emila, but is avoiding to talk about the father. She tried to get Stefan back, but he didn't want to. He kind of abused her on purpose to push her away. Elena could never understand why Stefan did this to her and so 6 month after the abuse she steals his journals to find out that he was bitten from a werewolf 4 years ago and Damon and the rest made a deal with Isobel because she knew how to heal him, but the price was to give Elena up. They agreed and Elijah showed up confirming the deal. Isobel compelled Elena, but something went wrong with the compulsion. Elena has no idea what. She left MF after Jenna found out that Elena had put Stefan's necklace under her pillow because Elena knows about the deal and that maybe they are all involved in keeping her away from Stefan, but she has no idea what went wrong with the compulsion.

Chapter 6 The truth

Later Elena reached a motel with a garden and stopped. She parked the car in the backyard and spent the rest of the afternoon with Emilia playing outside. After bringing her to bed, she began to read what had happened after their weekend. Bonnie, Caroline, Damon, Alaric, John and Stefan had met and talked about Isobel.

They had been worried that she would compel Elena again, so John had come up with the plan to insert a vervain chip in Elena's body, not removable if possible.

Elena remembered this conversation with John about the vervain chip. She had found it exaggerated, but Bonnie had been on his side and searched a very old which to perform a spell. The witch had placed magically the chip in Elena's and John's body and then she had made it invisible, not detectible for anybody. One year later the witch had died and Bonnie didn't want to know the spell, she didn't want to be forced to remove it one day. Elena remembered Bonnie saying it would be better the less people know about it and so just Caroline had been informed.

The thing Elena still didn't understood what went wrong with the compulsion, but she remembered what Stefan had written after the conversation with John

"_Odd, odd feeling inside"_

Now it made sense. He had believed something was wrong as well, but he didn't know what, but later he had agreed to "abuse" her to push her away, so he must have found out the problem. Between his talk with John (January 2015 shortly before the pictures with Katherine had been taken) and the day she had come to him and he "abused" her (September 2016).

She remembered his face when she had been standing there in front of him with Emilia. He had smiled at her at first, happy to see her and she had been sure to get him back, but then his mood had changed. He had this indifferent and pale face and, now it all made sense, she couldn't believe it, he had gone to the balcony's door after she had told him she wanted him back. Now Elena understood his reaction. He had known that her coming, her begging to get him back, to stay with her, was the worst thing which could have happened, which was not allowed to happen, which would force him into major consequences and he had turned his head away to let her not see her his face, to not give away his feelings in that moment.

Elena needed a moment, took a sip from the beer and with a sigh she began to search further, but she couldn't find anything. He hadn't found it out at first. When she reached May 2015, she was so tired and knew she had to wake up early to leave again, so she decided to go to bed.

TVD TVD TVD TVD TVD _

16 March 2017

The next morning she felt better. Emilia was so cute, smiling and having fun with her. She carried her to the car and the motel owner helped her. He felt pity for a woman who had baby and need to drive on her own. Luckily, the Emilia liked driving in a car. Elena believed that the sound and the sensation of driving were calming her down. Elena began to think about her situation. In the end what should the others do to her? She couldn't be compelled and now she knew the truth. She had overreacted to run or maybe not. When she made a pause, she checked her phone for the first time since she had left. Several missed calls from Jenna and Caroline. This was no good sign. They are all alarmed and Bonnie could find her anywhere, but she needed something personal, so maybe they hadn't called her. She needed to drive and change the direction sometimes to make it more difficult for them to find her.

Later she made a lot of pauses and in the afternoon she reached a town, found a little Hotel with just 3 rooms and decided to stay there. An old couple named Martin hosted the pension and their grandchild was running around the garden, playing with water. Elena texted Jenna that she was fine and everything was okay. In the evening she heard a knock at her door. It was Mrs. Martin, she informed Elena that a friend of hers was downstairs, waiting for her. Elena found a worried Caroline.

Caroline tried to talk, wanted to know why she had run away and why she had put Stefan's necklace under her pillow.

"He is not worth it. Remember what he did to you. Don't try to contact him again. You are better than that."

Elena let out a humorless laugh.

"I met your father Caroline. How were your holidays in France with Stefan? You father said he loved the pictures you send him. So you broke up the contact with him after he abused me, really? Liar, go home."

Caroline didn't know what to say. She tried to enter, but she couldn't and so she left, anger and concern written over her face.

TVD TVD TVD TVD TVD _

After bringing her child to bed, Elena began to read further. She decided not to read it all, just every second week one entry. In July John had shown up with Isobel and Katherine. They wanted to take pictures from Stefan and Katherine. John was trying to convince Stefan that his plan had worked a little, but he needed more. Stefan hadn't believed a word. He had just agreed to not make them suspicious about his concerns. Katherine had a lot of fun shooting this.

TVD TVD TVD TVD TVD

17 March 2017

One day later in the evening , Elena found it, after hours of hours of reading there it was and she couldn't believe it, so she read it again.

In the end of October Stefan had began to write several quotes from her, e-mails from Bonnie or Caroline they had sent to him, all things concerning her future.

The first of November 2015, she read again the 4 quotes.

**e-mail to Bonnie:**

"_Today, I went to see my friend Meredith. She got a cute brown haired little daughter. She named her Addison and I love this girl. Both looked so happy together. __I envy her so much. I want this and nothing else."_

**e-mail to Caroline**

"_I didn't get my menstruation like I usually do I will be so happy If this comes true. __Maybe I got my wish and I'm pregnant . I hope so much it is true."_

Elena swallowed, so Stefan had known that she was pregnant pretty soon.

**Elena talked with Caroline after Care's b-day **

_Caroline:"Elena, you should not sleep with your ex on my b-day. You broke up with him because you wanted to have a family."_

_Elena: " Yes and no__, just the kids were missing. ____

-**When Elena broke up with me **

"_I want to have children__ and I can't have that with you Stefan."_

_OH my God, she just wants a baby or maybe several, but that's it. She is never talking about a father or a boyfriend/ husband. Damn, Isobel must have compelled her to make her baby wish come true, but she left out the father. She is pregnant now. I need to talk to John and Elijah. I just hope that Isobel didn't compel her to have as much babies as she could, but it took her some years. Why?_

_Should we tell her? What would she say? Now it is too late. Fucking bitch of Isobel. Elena could realize what she had done one day. After giving birth what will she feel, will she question her behavior or will she have a breakdown? Will the compulsion be off after she fulfilled her mission to have a baby?_

The first time reading this, it had felt too surreal to be true. She hadn't believed it , but now the words and the truth of them were sinking inside Elena and she couldn't stop the tears streaming down her face, as she watched Emilia. Emilia was just a product of the compulsion, nothing else. Otherwise she wouldn't have gotten pregnant. Was this true? Could this be true? Elena tried to calm down her breathing, she threw the journal in the corner and went to Emilia, stroking with a shaking hand over her short brown hair, watching her peacefully sleeping and remembering how surprised she had been with herself, getting pregnant this way. There had always been the picture from her, a husband, children, a happy family. She loved Emilia, this was sure, this tiny little baby with all her adorable peculiarities. Her love for Emilia was not compelled, it was real. She told her that over and over again. And it had been her baby wish, there was no doubts, her idea. This thought calmed her down and gave her space to breathe. She laid down beside her little daughter, wrapping carefully an arm around her. Then Elena closed her eyes, just focusing on Emilia's sleeping sounds.

TVD TVD TVD TVD TVD

18 March 2017 the next day

Elena hadn't dared to leave the hotel, but she knew it was just a matter of time before the next would come. At 11 am she heard a knock at her balcony door, she knew the frame, it was Stefan's, not Caroline's like she had expected. She opened the door and immediately attacked him.

"You can go Stefan. I'm an adult who can decide for me. I have already texted with Jenna. "

She was mad at him, she didn't know why exactly, but all this was his fault as well. And he had kind of abused her.

"Hey" he said calmly " I'm just here to see if I can help you?"

"Not , your business. " She bit on her lip when she saw his face. His mind was working and now it started to rain, but he wasn't moving, just watching her and sensing something was seriously wrong.

"You did enough. I'm not going to have a breakdown. Just needed some air to breath."Elena hissed. He nodded, the rain was running down his face.

"Why should I think you're going to have a breakdown?"

She didn't want to answer the question, she avoided it, so she said one word.

"Rapist." He didn't avoid her eyes, but he didn't say anything either.

"What now Stefan?" Elena hissed.

"I talked with Caroline, she told me about the chip, so are you also here because of that night. I can't apologize for something so cruel. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but if you want to talk about it. I'm here. " He eyed her carefully.

" No, I can deal with it." He watched her upset pacing the room. It was difficult for him to suppress his concern and she knew him to well, so he admitted to her.

"I have problems to see that right now."

"How could you do that? Why didn't you put any effort?" Now she was yelling at him.

Stefan watched her surprised. Damn, he was onto it and now Emilia started to cry.

" when I tried to get you back." Elena added quickly, grabbing her daughter and rocking her baby slowly to calm her down, but she was too upset and Emilia seemed to notice that too.

"Shhhhhhh, shhhhh, Emilia everything is alright."

"You know the truth, don't you?" Stefan blurred out, stunned.

Elena watched him. "No, I don't know everything. I don't know what you all decide to do with me this time. I just know some things. "

"Can we talk about it?"

"For what. You are going to find the ghost of this witch, get out of this vervain chip and compel me again. You won't let me decide for myself." Elena hissed.

"I don't have any plans to do that, but yes it is an option, but … the night with you ..um… it was my the last try….umm… Elijah promised us that. "

He paused before looking into her eyes. "What do you know? Maybe I can tell you the rest."

"I know about the werewolf bite, the deal, the compulsion, the chip, the concerned John and how you visited me to push me away, the pictures and how you got suspicious and then how you speculated about how Isobel compelled me, just my baby wish and the night you abused me. "

He nodded. "Are all of my journals here?" Ashamed from his question, she looked down, even when she had all reasons to steal them." So, did you read anything else? "

"A little bit about our 2 nights and the morning. " She conceded.

"Why not the rest?"

"It felt like breaking into your privacy and I didn't had enough time to finish. "

Stefan chucked slightly and shrugged. He locked his eyes with hers "Can we talk about it and the abuse, please. "

It started to rain further and finally she invited him in after he promised her not to take her with him or to force her into something. He pulled off his leather jacket, took the towel she had given him, drying himself and sat down on the floor. She was on the bed, lying next to Emilia. He faced her "So ?" , waiting uncomfortable for her to start.

" I never felt abused Stefan. That was the problem. " Elena blurred out. " You described it the same way I experienced it. The blood raping was awful, but when you were stroking my body, it had felt like us from that moment on. It was you and me."

She watched how Stefan began to relax a little, this had eaten him for month, she could see how his lips were quivering when he tried to say something.

" I … it was Isobel's idea. Elijah was angry at me because I slept with you twice and he challenged me to do something cruel to you. I could have done it willingly or compelled and I chose to do it willingly. …I saw a loophole to stop before things would get too much. I knew about the vervain chip in your body and had the idea to use compulsion who would not work." He looked down. " I didn't stop like I had wanted, but you know that. …. Isobel was pleased how far I had gone and the others…the others couldn't understand it and I couldn't explain it, but it was me who did this to you. " He looked guilty at her.

"But you wrote it felt like us for you as well…" Elena objected. Stefan eyed her carefully, " I know what it was for me us, but I had no idea what is was for you."

2 hours later he was still sitting on the floor. Stefan had explained the missing parts. He told her that Isobel at first claimed not to be responsible for the mess, but finally she admitted that she hadn't really paid attention what words she had exactly used. Meanwhile Elena changed Emilia. She gave her small pieces of banana. Stefan was now explaining to her that they were still not sure if Elena was now under compulsion or not. On the one hand she seemed to be more herself after giving birth, but they were not sure what would happen when Emilia who took all her time now, would be older. He didn't use the word screwing around, but she knew he meant that. Isobel hadn't been sure if she had compelled Elena to have as much kids as possible or just to have one kid.

Emilia was crawling on the floor, inspecting everything she found. Stefan was still sitting on the floor leaned against the wall when Emilia approached him for the first time. She did that several times until she finally reached Stefan's arm and dared to grab after what had easily found her attention his ring. Stefan didn't put any effort to pull his hand away or make a fist like her usually did. He let her play with his ring, but he was still reserved. Elena could easily see that was nothing Stefan had done before.

"She loves everything which glistens or gleams. " Elena explained.

"Emilia has your eyes." It was the first time he used her name. Then Emilia began to chew on Stefan's fingers which he tried to pull gently away and looked questing at Elena.

"Her teeth are coming. She is chewing on everything she finds, but she is not strong enough to hurt you. You can let her chew a little if you want to. But it would be easier for her, if you place her on your lap, letting her see me, so she feels save. "

Stefan did what Elena had suggested and after Emilia tested all of his fingers and decided she preferred the one with the ring, Stefan began to relax and play with her. He gave her his finger, pulled him back and let her grab the finger again. Elena watched him, feeling the pain inside, watching him playing with her daughter wasn't easy. She had tears in her eyes when he found her eyes again. None of them said a word; just Emilia baby sounds filled the room. After a minute had passed before Elena broke the silence.

"That could have been us. Maybe, I would have had an insemination. "

Stefan watched her, and then he looked back at Emilia, thoroughly searching for the right words.

"Elena, you never wanted to talk with me about our future, so I guess you got what you wanted … in a way of course. "

Elena swallowed. "I don't know if my memories are really my memories. How should I know?"

"You can read your journals."

TVDTVDTVDTVDTVD

A week later 25 March 2017

Salvatore Boarding House

Elena arrived with Stefan's journals, her bag and an envelope in her hand at the Salvatore Boarding House. Like she knew it the door was open and she went inside following the music which was coming from Stefan's room and she found him upstairs with books everywhere. A lot of books were lying on his sofa and so she sat down on his bed and placed his journals on the bed. Stefan eyed her " Hey, your are overpunctual and luckily I'm alone. " He smiled at her and served her a glass of water, putting the journals away and explained they were about to extent the library downstairs, so he could sort out some of his books. It took a while before they began to speak about the past.

" I read the rest between the talk with John and … the night here. Thank you for letting me read it. "

Then Elena took a medical report out of the envelop and placed it on the bed. She didn't say a word, slightly pale she made a gesture to Stefan. He stood up and came over, sat down next to her.

Stefan started to read a paternity test from the guy named Michael Delmar.

"So he is the father, " his voice sounded broken " but what is the other test? It says 8,4328 percent. What does that mean?" he watched her, surprised realizing that Elena was pouring herself and him a full glass of bourbon. "Elena?"

"Yes Michael is the biological father. " She gave him a glass and she took a hit much to Stefan's surprise. Then Elena took an old hand-carved wooden box engraved with an S out of her bag and placed it in front of Stefan. Stefan watched her even more surprised. Then he read the numbers again, he went paler, tears glistering in his eyes. She stroked over his face and with quivering lips he asked her.

"Who is Michael Delmar?"

"He is the grandson from Greta Albright who married her cousin Joseph Salvatore. They were both ancestors from your uncle Antonio Salvatore who married your mother's Cousin Anne-Marie who both died during the civil war, but their babies their son Eduardo and their daughter Maria survived."

Now tears were streaming over his face and Elena cupped his face and kissed his wet cheeks, trembling as well.

"In Emilia is 8,4324 % of your genetic code. And I'm sure because I took genetic material from your hair which was in that box as you know. I took it when I came here to take the rest of my stuff after we broke up." Stefan needed a few moments before he began to speak again.

"You did that on purpose." He couldn't believe it. " Is that the reason why you didn't want to spill his name?"

"I read the latest journal entries before I was compelled and I had this idea of having a baby and finding somebody from your family to be the sperm donor. That was what I was hoping for. You told me about your uncle and his wife and that you never tried to find their children because of Damon, so I guess Isobel compelled me to make my baby wish come true. It took me 3 years to find them. In between I had already giving up hope. "Elena looked down" I … I just tried to get pregnant. Then the detective I had paid called and told me that he found Michael's grandmother and because of the marriage with her cousin it was the best genetic material I could find. There are others from that line, but not with so much genetic code like Michael. I tested 3 men from this family arc. You and he have about 12 % of genetic material in common. "

Elena face was now close to his, watching in his eyes.

"I think Emilia has your lips" and she stroked over them before kissing him, but he didn't kiss her back. Stefan was too flabbergasted and tried to process what Elena had told him.

"You can never tell her the truth about that." Shaking his head still in disbelieve. "What did Isobel do to you? Did you never questioned your behavior? "

"No, I mean, I was sure you would never allow us to have children, well that is what my maybe compelled memory thinks and it felt like taking all I could. I couldn't have this with you, but I could take a piece of you, this little one this 8,4 percent I have from you and you can't take that away. "

Now, he cupped her face, just staring in her eyes. After examining her for a while he began to talk again.

"What did you feel after giving birth? Did you get what you did? How could you sleep with him?"

"Michael is attractive, someone with whom I could spend a night, well several until I got pregnant, but he believed I would be on the pill. He doesn't know. After giving birth I was confused, but…. I thought that now we could be a family and it would be a part from you in them, so you couldn't push Emilia away and me."

She wanted to kiss him, but he refused it. He took the remaining bourbon and gulped it down. Sitting on the bed, starring at the ground.

"Does Isobel know about this?"

"No, I don't think so, but she will probably find it out as research expert. … Are you happy about that?"

Silence followed before he looked at her again.

"Uhm…well, there is the deal, you slept with Damon, I can't age, I don't understand your feelings for him, I don't know what you wanted back then because you never told me and I don't want something back which is maybe compelled because you fulfilled your baby mission or you being hunted from your vampire mother. The biological father is also a problem, …. but yes in a strange way I'm happy about that even when it is totally wired."

Elena poured herself another glass and Stefan decided to take the bottle. They sat in silence on the bed, drinking. Half a bottle later, Elena broke the silence again.

"I wanted to punish you with Damon." Stefan chuckled.

" There is more to it, you know that, but you never wanted to tell me and I never wanted to hear it. Now I'm drunk enough."

"Okay, I found him attractive, attractive enough to sleep with him, I was curious. I never loved him, I don't want to wake up next to him or spend my life with him. I didn't want to continue that."

"Did he want to continue it?"

Elena nodded, took another sip and said "Katherine?"

"Lust, I was young, many hormones were running through my body and she was sexy and seductive. Maybe it is the same which you felt for Damon lust with no soul for more. And I don't know if you read that, but I really slept with her for a few weeks. It was shortly after you broke up with me. This gave me the idea of telling you that."

"The dirty bloody games with her were true." Stefan nodded " and what you did with me that night, you did that with her and she loved it?" Stefan focused the books on the ground, avoiding her eyes.

"Yes. It is not something unusual to do for a vampire."

"You ripped too careful under my skin, you know that? I would love to try that again."

"You didn't enjoy that." Stefan objected.

"You never gave me a chance to live that with you." She approached him slowly and sat down on his lap. He didn't push her away, his whole body was tensed, but he didn't move at all. Elena began to unbutton Stefan's shirt like he had done when he abused her. He wasn't comfortable with that memory, she could easily tell. Then she took off her shirt and bra, locking her eyes with his. He was staring into her eyes avoiding to watch anywhere else, but she could feel the tension between them. Slowly she grabbed his hand, kissed the palms and placed his hands above her breasts.

"This is not fair. I'm not conformable, drunk and in no position to do that." He murmured looking at her still avoiding to let his view slip lower.

"The position is not bad." Elena answered playfully an tipsy ". It was us Stefan, it was no abuse. I miss your hands." And with that she grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands further down to her breasts. Stefan escaped a moan when he touched her sensitive skin and a nipple. He was breathing heavily, but still not moving. Elena dipped her head down onto his shoulder and began to kiss upwards his neck until she reached his mouth and then there was no resistance anymore.


	7. Complications

**Summery: Elena left Stefan 5 years ago. She got pregnant and has no a daughter named Emilia, but is avoiding to talk about the father. She tried to get Stefan back, but he didn't want to. He kind of abused her on purpose to push her away. Elena could never understand why Stefan did this to her and so 6 month after the abuse she steals his journals to find out that he was bitten from a werewolf 4 years ago and Damon and the rest made a deal with Isobel because she knew how to heal him, but the price was to give Elena up. They agreed and Elijah showed up confirming the deal. Isobel compelled Elena to make her baby wish come true. Not knowing that Elena's wish was to get a baby from a relative of Stefan, she searched several years until she found him. Now she has a baby who has about 8 % from Stefan's genes. She told that Stefan and they slept together. Now they have to face the other players.**

XxXx

Chapter 7

**Complications**

The next morning , March 26th 2017

A taxi drove in front of the Salvatore Boarding House and parked, Damon was sitting in the backseat with a big coffee in his hands and sunglasses. He was still sleepy from arriving so early, but awoken enough to notice the unknown car in the front yard. The last time he had spoken to his baby bro had been two weeks ago before he started to his Hawaii trip, and it seemed like Stefan had made some progress since then. Damon hopped out of the car, smirking and stepped inside the house curiously listing, but everything was calm. A look at the watch confirmed it was too early to expect anybody awake, 6am sure Stefan and whoever else were still asleep, so Damon decided to make coffee for them. He took a Hawaiian flower necklace out of his bag and carried it along with the coffee upstairs. Fortunately his brother hadn't closed the door, a grin crossed Damon's face when he entered the room eyeing the bed. Unfortunately Stefan's back was covering most of the woman, but he saw some brown hair.

"Aloha Stef, I brought you coffee and flowers ." As expected all what Damon received was a annoyed groan and a "Get out" which motivated Damon even more.

"Uh, there something you're hiding. I can hear her or him? " Damon teased, noticing some blood on the bed and now he saw the hand from the women lying in front of Stefan. Damon knew this hand, the arm, the hair.

" Katherine, what a surprise." But instead of Katherine, Elena popped up behind Stefan's back.

"Morning Damon" He didn't like what he saw, she could easily tell. "Please give us a moment." The wittiness had left him and he left without a comment, still holding the coffee and the flower necklace in his hands.

XxXx

2 h later Elena left and Stefan went to search Damon, not looking forward for what was about to come. The carpenter had already started to build up new shelves in the library and Damon was sitting outside drinking bourbon welcoming his little brother with a sarcastic undertone.

"Stef had lied, this bride is not right!"

" We just slept together okay." Stefan said in a quite defensive tone.

"I'm not so sure if Isobel or Elijah would see it the same way. I would be more careful in your place." Damon stated.

"Actually, you slept with her and wanted to continue that, so where is the difference?" Stefan bit out.

"I was never included in that deal." Damon tried to bluff it out.

"You know exactly that the same rules are for you as well. I didn't make that deal. You the rule breaker are mad at me, seriously? " Stefan was getting upset.

Damon shrugged it off and continued with his observation "Why was so much blood on your bed? Dirty little blood games last night?"

"Yes, Damon. We relished in our bloodlust and drank from each other over and over again. Are you content now?" Stefan glared at him.

"Whatever Stef and what next? Is she moving in?" Damon asked with a sarcastic voice.

"I'll call Elijah. They promised the abu….if the last try didn't work out, Elena would learn the truth."

" But that didn't include you in Elena's future and Isobel will do anything in her power to prevent that from happening, bro." Damon declared.

"Nothing new." And with that Stefan left.

XxXx

The next day.

Elena was making her way to the Salvatore Boarding house, knocking at the old wooden door. Unfortunately, Damon opened.

"Hi, Damon. Where is Stefan?" Elena asked, not hiding where she wanted to be.

"Hello Elena, your bloodsucker is in the garden with your kid, playing daddy which clearly brings him in danger as you know. You should stop letting pictures of your daughter here. In two days it is the big "What to do with Elena day" . I'm sure your mother can't wait for it." Damon answered with in his typical damoneque way and a well known smell of booze.

"Don't give me that crap, Isobel never let the deal happen how it was supposed to be, so … And we are not together. Stefan is just babysitting because Jenna got cramps this morning and I didn't want her go alone to the hospital. If you excuse me, I would like to see my daughter and Stefan." Elena was getting tensed. She didn't need a fight with Damon right now, but Damon wasn't in the mood to stop, instead he insisted.

"Elena, you need to listen carefully. Stefan almost died and now you can guess what Isobel promised us would happen if he breaks the deal?" Damon's eyebrows were raised and his eyes wide open, piercing her eyes. He wanted to make sure she got the message.

"She wants to kill him? But she is not strong enough because he drinks human blood. Isobel screwed up the deal in the first place. " Elena hissed, clearly getting angry.

"Isobel is not, but Katherine and Elijah are. " Damon shot back.

"Katherine would never kill Stefan." At least of this Elena was sure.

" Why did you sleep with him? Do you want him back? Is he the better lover, the better boyfriend, the best daddy? Was nobody good enough to fill the hole he left?" Damon asked with bitterness in his voice, clearly tipsy.

A yes would clearly hurt him, so she decided to say "Damon, stop it. "

"And the blood on his bed. Did you let him drink from you? Or did you drink from him?" Damon couldn't hide the curiosity.

Elena looked down. She didn't want to answer the question, so Damon concluded.

"Oh, both I believed Stefan lied. Why didn't you let me drink from you? " Damon asked, his tone more upsetting than before.

He wasn't stopping, so she knew she had to be more personal, maybe he needed to hear it. "Damon, this was just one night. And I told you that I can't give you what you want from me? Elena was getting desperate, he wasn't stopping it.

"Maybe I'm not searching this, because I still want to be me. " Damon took another sip from his bourbon, he watched her again. "By the way Isobel is busy searching in your past. What will she find? She found already out that I slept with you."

"Great, anything about Stefan?" Elena wasn't backing down. She had all rights to make decisions for her own life.

"What could she find out? Is there more? Tell me, she will call me soon. It is easier to calm her down if I know what she could find out." Elena faced Damon and replied calmly.

"I slept twice with Stefan, on Caroline's b-day , but Elijah knows that already and Isobel as well as far as I know, so this just leaves the night after you found us."

"You can't spend a year without a Salvatore in your bed, can you?"

Elena had it on her lips to say something, but she didn't, instead she bit her lips to stop the words escaping her mouth. She didn't need more trouble than she already had, so she gave Damon a fake smile and went into the garden.

XxXx

2 days later Isobel, John and Elijah had arrived to talk about the consequences of Elena's discovery.

Stefan had driven early to the house of the 100 dead witches, he wasn't looking forward to see Isobel again. In general he could be glad not having met more parents of his girlfriends especially doppelgangers seem to have extreme parents. He didn't know if he should try to understand her and be nice or just ignore her. But he knew Elena wanted deep down to have a connection with her mother, even when there were just reasons to hate her and Elena would never admit it.

2 hours later Isobel, Elijah, John, Damon, Bonnie, Elena and Stefan were sitting together in a neutral place, the house of the 100 dead witches. Elena was all Petrova and was really mad at Isobel who was quite remorseful, astonishing for Elena. They tried to find a solution. Elijah was the neutral viewer, but making it quite clear he expected them to come to a solution. Elena wanted to have the right to decide for herself and she wanted her memories back which was impossible, Bonnie confirmed it. The ghosts of the old witches didn't appear during the séance or Bonnie didn't want them come. Probably they couldn't help. Stefan was not sure. Now compelling Elena wasn't an option.

Then Elena knew she would have to tell them about Stefan's connection to the baby, watching at Stefan nervously, feeling the support in his eyes. She smiled at him, her magnetic beaming smile. Elena cleared her throat and began to explain who the father of her baby was in a clear and almost distant voice. She told the name, nothing happened, and then she told them that he was a distant relative of the Salvatore family. Genetically related to Stefan and she added proudly, eyeing Stefan that Emilia and him had 8,4324 % in common. To say it was a shock for all and especially Damon would have been a lie. Stefan looked in all their faces, knowing this would bring them on her side. Now they owed her to make no decision against her.

The only thing which irritated him was Isobel's reaction, she was looking down both hands on her face like she was hiding herself from them. He had no idea what she was thinking or didn't want people to see. Did she feel bad for her doing, knowing the others would star at her, condemn her for her compulsion disaster? Stefan was not sure. It took her several minutes before she raised her head again, watching Elena and on the ground.

Finally, Isobel raised her voice while she searched Elena's eyes. " I would love for Elena read her own thoughts and find out who she was and what she wanted" It was all she said. This wasn't easy for Isobel, Stefan could tell. As much as he didn't like her, she cared about Elena in her own twisted way. He was surprised, they all were by this unexpected suggestion, but welcomed it. Elena was sending all signals of joy, looking forward to her new life. But Isobel explained she still didn't want Stefan near Elena. Elena should think about her life, before making decisions which would be harder to take back later. But she agreed not to harm anybody in Elena's life or the life of her friends including the baby father excluding Stefan. Stefan chuckled; this was the Isobel he knew. Finally she stood up and apologized to Elena in a heartbreaking confession. It felt planned, calculated, Stefan couldn't help himself, something was off, but Elena was moved. She needed some peace.

Then it was over, finally. Elijah pulled Elena aside and wanted to talk with her alone and the others began to leave as well. Stefan sighed and went to his own car, waiting for Elena to join him. It wasn't over he knew it. He couldn't shrug the bad feeling off his shoulders, but gladly Elena opened the door. No not Elena, it was Isobel starring at Stefan.

"I wanted to talk with you. " She said, calmly and cold.

Stefan sighed, this woman never gave up. "I hear."

"Stefan, please let her have her life with Emilia. She deserves it. Don't destroy that. " Isobel begged him in a cold and icy tone.

Stefan hated her histrionic behavior "I'm not doing that." he told her with a confident smile.

"Oh, you are, Emilia will age, so should her mother, Elena. You can't turn her anymore. Let her find someone who can take care of them." Isobel declared.

Stefan swallowed inside, he knew very well himself that they needed to find a solution and that he couldn't turn Elena anymore.

Isobel opened the car door, eying him carefully one last time. "I hope you make the right decision. I hope Elena had seen this the same way and will see it the same way as I do. " and with that she was gone. Stefan groaned and his forehead hit the steering wheel hard, he hated her, hated to hear it, to think about it over and over again.


End file.
